Not everything in life is a competition.

Upon the news of the ex-bf of yesteryear getting married to an ex-best friend of mine, I received a text from a good friend I haven't seen in ages saying, "dude, we're really the last."

I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

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Weekends in Singapore are made up of pretty much, weddings. Spending a full hour looking through the closet of Hari Raya outfit that I only wear during, well, Hari Raya, and another hour ironing it and yet another hour trying to look pretty for God knows what reason.

Here are some photos I have to put here because you dress up so nicely and doll up it seems like a waste of time if you don't put your photo up somewhere. Lol.


cuz taking a selfie/wefie is mandatory during weddings

I'm not asking you to please not invite me to your weddings too. In fact, I love weddings. I love to see my friends and cousins tying the knot, even if my mum manage to drag me out of the house to attend a wedding of a friend's daughter's brother in law's second cousin, I'd be there for them if they need me to and if my time allows me to (and may they forgive me if I am not there because trainings and competitions take precedence and I hope they understand that). 

(I also love weddings cuz it gives me a chance to prove to my mum that I'll wear that $300 tailor-made more than once.)

I love attending weddings because it is a celebration of love (and courage, as how some may put it) and it is a happy occasion and watching happy faces make you happy and who doesn't want to be happy? Attending weddings also put ideas in your head of how you want your wedding to be. Of course I do have an idea of how my wedding is gonna be like- as tough as I think I am, I'm still a Princess, and I must have the perfect wedding with a perfect wedding dress and everyone has to dress up like elves. (I pretty much have everything planned, but not the groom). Lol.

But the weekly weddings that I attend, to me, serve as a weekly reminder that I'm getting a week older and the question that is always ringing in my head, "should I be worried that im not married?"

Or more like, "should I be worried that im not worried that im not married?"

Weekend after weekend my list of single friends gets smaller and smaller. But it doesn't bother me (or does it?). I'm more worried about whether I'll be able to reach my target for the half marathon next month, whether I will be able to make weight for the next competition. It worries the hell out of me if my wrist doesn't get any better and the coach says no I can't row for xx more days and I'll be a miserable person for xx days. I can't even live my life to the fullest with each day that passes by without being able to row. But today's not about rowing (and I really should stop whining about it, grar.)

There is no time or space in my head to think about marriage. God, no.

I'm fortunate to have a mum who isn't pressuring me to get married. In fact, when I told her that my ex is getting married, she said, "It's okay." It was an awfully awkward "It's okay" but the conversation ended there, thankfully. But im so glad she isn't that type who wants to give me away as soon as she can. Phew.

I am also so, so grateful that my relatives have stopped asking me when is it my turn to sit on the wedding dais and instead question me on when's my next competition. Do you know how pleased I am to know that the majority of the people I know have learnt to accept that my dreams mean more than anything else in the world? 

But you know what worries me more than being nowhere near getting married?

Knowing that my friends (of the yaya sisterhood of singlehood) find solace in me when they discover that their FB time line is flooded with wedding photos, or even scarier, photos of our friends with big bumps on their tummies. It's like, hey, Aisyah's chasing to put a medal around her neck instead of a ring around her finger. She's pregnant with hopes and dreams and not a baby. She's saving up for the Olympic dreams and not her wedding or children's education. SO IT'S LIKE IT'S OKAY IF WE'RE NOT MARRIED, NOT PREGNANT OR NOT HAVING KIDS CUZ AISYAH ISN'T ANYWAY!

It's like I'm the yardstick.
The role model for all those women out there who are just not ready for the big m word yet.

I have absolutely nothing against marriage. I just think that you should get married for the right reasons and only when you're ready. Dont get married because your peers are married, because your parents tell you to get married, and certainly because you love the thought of looking pretty on the dais on your wedding day. And there is absolutely nothing to fear or be embarrassed about if you're the last to get hitched. A wise friend once said, marriage is not a race. The one who gets married first doesn't make him a winner in any way. WORD.

But then again, who am I to talk about marriages? 

Let's talk about ending 2015 on a good note. If 2014 hasn't been a great year for you (I feel you, bro), I'm on a mission to make the best of what's left in 2014 and so should you. I've been running distances I never have imagined myself to cover- all in the name of a half-marathon I gladly signed up for. I've been sitting on the bike almost every other day to make up for the times I'm losing out of the boat and I'm even buying my own road bike (considering the fact that I have a phobia of cycling on the road). If I can't make one thing happen, I'm pretty sure there are other things I can make happen.

I do feel like a little part of me dies everyday I'm not allowed to row but it has reached the point where I just have to stop being sad and start being awesome. There's absolutely no time for us to continue to mope around about something we can't change. Gotta start living, man.

199 days to SEA GAMES 2015.

xx

The OMG-ITS-7-MORE-WEEKS-TO-END-YEAR Goal Review

The problem that we face when we set goals is usually not reviewing them. So let's be a bit more responsible for ourselves and look at how far we've come now that it's already been a month since we set our goals. The mistake that I did when I was setting these goals in October was that, I didn't had a plan on how to go about achieving them. I thought, we could just, you know, #gojer, and do them when we feel like it but some things are not easy as just #gojerdontscared

1. To be able to do 10 chin ups (over hand grip) in one go. (Currently I can do 3, and my PB is 6.)

CURRENTLY I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANY CHIN-UPS. So boo you, pain on the wrist. BOO YOU!

But if your goal is still to attempt a chin-up or to increase the max that you can do, here's one way to train for it:

Perform 100 chin ups in a day.

If you cannot even do one yet: jump and use the momentum to do a chin up and on your way down, extend your arms slowly. Land softly on the ground (so you don't end up hurting you knees!) and repeat the jump and pull!

If you are already able to do a few at one go: Perform the most you can do, rest. Go for your max again. Rest. Set yourself a time limit. Let's say, start with 100 chin ups a day so that you can divide it into probably 50 in the morning and 50 in the evening. And as you get better, push yourself a bit more to 100 in an hour. In the event that you cannot do anymore because your arms are filled with lactic you think it might fall apart anytime soon, do an assisted chin-up. Get a friend to carry your feet, or use the assisted chin-up machine in the gym.

Don't forget to stretch and be prepared for ridiculously sore arms and lats.

2. To be able to do a handstand. (I cannot even brave myself to stand on my hands with my feet on a wall!!!)

AGAIN. BOO YOU, WRIST!!!! :'(

But I know when my wrist is okay, I have friends who will be teaching me how to do a handstand YAY! ^^

3. To run a 10km in 40mins. (The last time I did an official 10k race was in 2012 with a timing of 52mins without any training.)

To achieve this target, I've been doing 400m and 800m pieces at my target speed which is 4mins/km (target speed) and boy, did I feel like I was sprinting through the pieces! #howliddat?

4. To be able to pull a distance of 7510m in 30mins on the rowing machine. (Current personal record was 7503m set in Feb 2014.)

Current personal record 7518m WOOTS ^^

5. To run a half marathon. (The longest official run I did was the Urbanathlon last year of 14km.)

SIGNED UP FOR STANDARD CHARTERED ON 7 DEC WOOHOO! 1:30hr pacer needed!

Found some training programmes online and it goes something like this:

Monday 4km

Tuesday Fartleks/Hill Sprints/400m/800m

Wed 5km

Thurs 10km

Fri 7kn

Sat 4km

Sun 15km

Roughly 50km-60km a week depending how lazy I am.

Before I signed up for this half-marathon, my runs are an hour long but I can tell you for sure that running for more than an hour can be mentally draining (not sure if this is what the runners call "hitting the wall"- but don't laugh if I think it is because I'm not a runner okay) and I have absolutely no idea how these regular marathoners run so much.

(They must be wondering how we clock 100km of rowing every week too I guess. GAAAAH DONT TALK ROWING TO ME!!!)

6. To be able to do a 6mins plank. (Did a 6mins last year. Once.)

Did an 8mins plank.

SEALED THE DEAL, BABY!

Tip to achieve this: do it with a group of competitive people under the watch of someone who will spot every hump when you lift your butt too high or every dip that forms when you are not pushing your upper back towards the ceiling.

7. To do 10 pistol squat on each leg unassisted. (Currently can manage 10 but with assistance.)

IN PROGRESS.

Haven't really been doing any pistol squats lately. BOO YOU, AISYAH! I'll start today.

8. To be able to swim 5 laps along the pool without rest. (Now I will be happy to finish 1 lap without rest.)

AM NOT ABLE TO SWIM WITH THE WRIST but hopefully splint comes off next week!

9. To be able to sit on the bike for 2 hours without rest. (Most number of minutes I sat in the stationary bike was 90.)

Not brave enough to do this yet. But I am purchasing a road bike soon, hopefully that will help me achieve this goal.

Tip to achieve this: this one, really, a perfect case of don't think just do.

10. To get back into doing Bikram Yoga.

After the splint goes off, I AM READY FOR YOU 40 DEGREES ROOM AND 26 POSES!

---

2 out of 10 goals achieved in a month.

4 goals put on hold because of the wrist.

4 goals in progress.

I'd say, things are looking pretty good at this point, although time is running short and this wrist thing is killing me. I guess that it's only right for me to look at the things I can do instead and work on them.

(I told you I have this insane ability to make the bad things seem pretty good in some way.)

Ciao

xx

Life Lessons from a Splint

Honestly, I don't even remember the last time I was injury-free. First there was the ribs, then the back, then the shoulders, then now the wrist. Really? Is this what its like to be a professional athlete? Is this normal? It worries me so much that I'm always having to see the doctor, go for X-rays, get MRI scans done, go for physio and rehab sessions, having consultations that cost a bomb, getting friendly with tapes and bandages and now a splint. It scares me that here I am putting my job on hold, saying no to a few thousand dollars in the bank every month, rejecting a safe and secured future, to take on a career not many individuals would risk doing, chasing a dream that seems so far-fetched, only to see my body not cooperating, only to be disappointed by my own self. Is this really what a professional athlete goes through? Or is it just me? Is it just my body being weak, not used to being pushed all the time? Is it just my imagination creating all these injuries? Is it just excuses I make up to earn the rest I think I deserve?

Do you know how painful it is to wake up every single day not being able to row? How hard it is to swallow down everything that the doctor tells me and what my coaches want me to do or in fact what not to do- which usually is harder for me to accept? How numb I've become to people telling me NO YOU CANT DO THIS and NO YOU'RE NOT FIT ENOUGH FOR THIS and YOU'RE TOO HEAVY? How unfair I think life is throwing me all these crap that makes my life so goddamn difficult when all I want to do is train and win. That's just it. Train and win. Am I making the life of another being hard if all I want to do is to train?

I know if you could, you'd want to give me one good slap right now. I know I should be grateful that I'm living the dream. I am given this chance to make my dreams become reality and the govt, companies, individuals are investing in me because they believe in me and here I am complaining about how tough life is and how it sucks to be injured. How ridiculous can Aisyah be? 

I don't need you to come up to me and give me a pat on my shoulder to tell me to stay strong. I don't need your pity that my arm is in a splint and that I can't row for another week or two and my life is a misery every single day that I can't row.

In fact, I'm telling you all these because I know that sometimes you think your life sucks too and sometimes you just want to give up and let go of everything you've worked hard for. Sometimes, you don't see a purpose to hang on to your goals anymore. Sometimes, shit happens and do what you want but shit is gonna happen and it might just happen right in front of your doorstep. Sometimes, the results don't really correlate with the effort you've put in. Sometimes, you just want to hide under your blankets and stay there until the storm passes. Sometimes, you wonder how some people can be so happy and positive all the freaking time. Sometimes, the grass always seems greener on the other side (wait, the grass ALWAYS seems to be greener on the other side). Sometimes, you just don't know why you're even alive.

So, so what if I know that you think life sucks too? Why did I spend the last 10 minutes whining about how awful my life is right now and yet hoping that you don't feel sorry for me? Why am I not the smiley, happy, positive-thinking Aisyah you see on your FB news feed every other minute or so? Because I'm human too. And I do feel sad and disappointed. I do lose motivation sometimes, honestly there are even days when I wake up not wanting to train because I do get lazy. I do have that little voice inside of me that keeps on whispering mean and nasty things to me that I don't want to hear like how tired I am and how it's okay if I skip a training because my coach would not know anyway. I do tell myself that I'm fat (and some of you might just be like ARE YOU KIDDING ME? DID YOU JUST SAY THAT? and roll your eyes at me) but to the eyes of my coaches, I am fat. My body fat percentage is ridiculously high for a lightweight rower.

What do I want to achieve out of telling you my deep dark secrets of being a lazy, whiny human being?

I just want the world to know that everyone has their bad days, or weeks, or months, or even a bad year (omg, tell me about having a bad year!). And that no matter how hard our lives seem to be, there will be someone out there having it harder, and still surviving, so there should be absolutely no reason for us to give up on something just because it seems hard to achieve. And when we've overcome our bad moments, if we have the chance to, we help others get out from their stormy days. When I feel like the world is crumbling down on me, other than seeking solace from God, I turn to people who I believe have gone through similar situations. That's why with this injury thing that I'm facing, stories of other athletes having to overcome injuries and coming out of them winning medals (and even becoming an Olympic champion) give me hope that everything will be okay. When I broke my nose last year, I read about the cyclist, Dinah Chan, who met with an accident a few months before the SEA Games and how she sprung back into training. And we both eventually became Gold medallists. When I won that Gold, (I hope) I gave light to those who feel like no one believes in them to achieve their dreams- because the only belief you need is the belief in yourself (which sounds terribly cheesy but is so true, I swear by it).

(I'm also telling you all these because I may be smiling in my selfies with my splint but deep down inside, all I want to do is throw this splint out of the car and drive over it so I don't have to see it ever again.)

So yea, back to my injury. Basically it's just a minor tear on a cartilage on my wrist and something about my bones rubbing against each other. It doesn't sound as bad as it looks so don't worry, I'm doing fine. It sucks to know that I can't row while it's recovering but with the great increment in the amount of time I spent running, it serves as a good training for my half marathon race this December. And with the immense numbers of hours I spend on the bike, I am sub-consciously mentally training myself not to go crazy.

(I love how my mind has the ability to see the good out of something bad. That's why I believe that it's a gift for me to make the world a better place to live in. I love how I think I can change the world too. HAHAHA.)

With that whole lot of rant, I hope people realise that life is full of shit and we've already got enough shit from life the last thing we want to do is add on to the shit in others' lives. BE NICE TO EACH OTHER. Amen.

The Bircher Muesli- my favourite breakfast

I'm currently obsessed with this yummy power-packed breakfast. The best thing about this dish is that you can practically change the ingredients to your liking and it's so easy to make. You can trust me on the simplicity of preparing this dish because I am the laziest person on the face of the Earth when it comes to cooking, I can assure you on that.

So here's how you make The Bircher Muesli

Mix:
1 cup of rolled oats
1 Granny Smith apple- grated (or any types of apple will do, or I used pear in this photo because I was out of apples haha)
Some spoonfuls of plain yoghurt
1/2 cup of apple juice (I used apple yoghurt drink here cuz I love the pear bits it has)
1 dash of ground cinnamon

Put it in the fridge for an hour or overnight.

In the morning:

Add a handful of blueberries, raisins and cranberries and almond slices and pumpkin seeds and mix them well, mix them good, mix them like you know you should! (LOL!)

(You can also add any types of berries, bananas, walnuts, Brazil nuts, honey, or (my fave) figs)

An awesome fuel for my training and good for a recovery meal as well. Yay.

5 reasons why you should watch Banting

I've never done a movie review before. I don't usually talk much about movies other than the fact that I watched a movie in Sydney alone and am so proud of it (instead of feeling like a loser about it). I've never attended a movie premier before, what more a local Malay movie. I don't remember the last time I left the movie theatre thinking to myself, "Damn, I must tell the world how good this movie is!" So, there must be something about this movie that makes me want to write about it to make you want to watch it. No, I'm not being paid for this and neither do I have anything to do with the production of this movie. So here are 5 reasons why you should catch Banting:

1. It is local

We should support local films like how you would support your local athletes. Like how you would queue up for One Direction tickets or buy hundreds of dollars worth of passes to watch a sport you become a fan of only for a few days in a year (read: something to do with fast cars). It would mean a lot to us, athletes, artists, musicians alike if the 5 million strong nation shows us their love. That's how a nation grows together. That's how countries produce world-class sportspeople or entertainers. It comes from the support of our own people. (I should run for office, don't you think so?) And who says local products can't be amazing?

2. It is inspirational

The scriptwriter probably googled "inspirational quotes" for his characters and the plot is pretty much predictable but an inspirational movie always has that kick that you need once in a while to push you to do things you've been holding back on. 

Left the theatre feeling more determined to chase my dreams even more than ever.

3. It is relatable

I swear I was immensely terrified by how similar the storyline was to my own life. 

Throughout the movie, I was like, "Omg! This reminds me of my mum!" "Omg! That is so like me!" "Omg! I think they took my life story and made it into this movie!" The freakiest coincidence would be the main character's coach being Japanese and so is mine (gah!).

Thing is, you don't have to be a Malay or a Singaporean or even an athlete to be able to relate to Banting. Anyone with goals and dreams and passion for something is able to identify with the characters in the movie. 

And as audiences, we love movies we can relate to, because sometimes it gives us a sense of hope, like Harry Potter for example, because we never know when Hagrid might appear and tell us that we're actually a witch or a wizard. Lol. We like movies we can relate to especially if the characters remind us of ourselves or of the people around us. Banting will remind you of yourself or someone close to your heart I am pretty sure of that.

4. It is entertaining

I love the fact that the movie is actually funny! I actually teared cuz I was laughing too much and too hard. Perhaps I'm just easily tickled but it's been a long time since I've laughed till I cried watching a movie. The last movie that happened was White Chicks. We all need a light-hearted movie like Banting once in a while. Movie theatres have been invaded by too many dark and 'heavy' movies like Gone Girl, which makes you leave the cinema feeling gloomy. Banting makes you want to skip your way home.

5. It is outstanding

I found plenty of things about the movie outstanding. The cinematography (as though I knew anything about it but there were scenes which made you go, "Wah, fancy editing!" So I'm assuming that's what filmography is- and I'm sorry if it's not and makes me seem ignorant) was pretty cool. The casts were down-to-Earth and talented and so Singaporean (which is essential in making us relate to them). And most importantly, the message it was delivering was close to my heart. That right there would score 98 points.

--

If you knew me very well, I'm not a big fan of Malay movies, but this, this is officially my favourite movie of 2014. And if these 5 reasons doesn't convince you to go watch Banting, then I think you're not a true blue Singaporean or that you don't have goals and dreams. If you're not a Malay and you're wondering why you should watch a Malay movie, I wonder too why I'm a non-Chinese but I watched I Not Stupid and I'm not Hindi but I watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. YOU'RE NOT AMERICAN SO WHY DO YOU WATCH HOLLYWOOD MOVIES?

Banting opens in all Cathay and Filmgarde cinemas on 31 October 2014. 

What do you do when life gives you bananas?

#SoProud of myself for being so hardworking in the kitchen yesterday. My mum was so happy that I spent almost the whole day at home that she sent me a text this morning thanking me for spending time with her. She cracks me up sometimes.

So I found myself with 2 combs of ripe bananas one day and I knew I had to make something out of them so these are what I made:

1. Make banana ice cream without an ice cream machine!

Freeze bananas for a few hours, or days.
Throw them in a blender.
Add milk tablespoon by tablespoon into the blender until it reaches your desired creamy texture.
Scoop and serve!
Add almond if you're feeling nutty. Add chocolate sauce if you've done enough training to deserve it.

Easy peasy and yummy too.

2. Banana-chocolate-chip-overload bread pudding

Whisk:
2 eggs
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1/2 cup of sugar
1/4 tsp of salt
2 1/2 cups of milk

Mix in:
8 slices of bread- torn into smaller pieces (at least a day old bread)
3 sliced bananas (add more if you like)

Transfer everything in a greased baking tray and make sure the bread pieces are soaked.
Top it off with an infinite amount of raisins and/or chocolate chips.
Bake for 50 - 60mins at 170 degrees Celsius (until toothpick comes out clean- which I never really know the reliability of this test because my toothpick never does come out clean for any dish I make but they still taste good.)

I love to eat it warm especially when it is served with vanilla ice cream. But definitely not athlete's food so eat just a few spoonfuls and share the remaining of the bread pudding with your skinny friends who eat alot but never grow fat (we will for sure have a few of those annoying friends).

Put chocolate sauce on the side instead of on the bread pudding to look fancy like that.

--

How about that? A future Martha Stewart probably? Or more like a Jamie Oliver of sports?

Let me know if you'd like to know more recipes. I'll vary between healthy (and I promise, yummy) stuff and food that you can make but you shouldn't be eating (which makes you wonder why you'd want to make it if you won't be eating it) in case life gives you a bunch of food that you don't know what to do with, like how I ended up with a whole lot of bananas and a loaf of bread which was going to expire. (Otherwise I wouldn't bother making bread pudding!)

Enjoy! ^^

October resolutions- of goal setting and (my logic on) how to achieve your goals

You know how we all set New Year resolutions at the start of the year and then by January 10 or so we chuck these goals aside and let them collect dust in the darkest corner of our lives. And then comes June where we tell ourselves that we will review our resolutions to see how far we have come but only to realise that we are nowhere near where we hope to be. This problem is called being a normal human being. We will get distracted and tend to lose focus on our goals because we are easily convinced that there are more important things to achieve like completing Season 9 of How I Met Your Mother.

Like you, I am experiencing the normal human being problem too. I have a list of things I was so determined to achieve at the start of the year and now on this very day in October, when I suddenly thought of my new year resolutions, it is really sad that not only do I not remember what they are, I am pretty sure I wrote them down somewhere and I can't find it. This problem is called being an Aisyah.

This thoughts about my goals for the year came into my mind because I realised, apart from losing in the Asian Games (yes, I am still not over it. Bahahha!) I haven't really achieved anything, have I?

Being endorsed by a sports apparel company wasn't in my new year resolution so that's a bonus. (Thank you, Under Armour.) It is already October and my medal count in NIL. I am a professional athlete and that is sad news but again, success isn't defined by the number of medals you win in a year, right?

So I've set myself an updated version of my new year (fitness) resolutions for 2014 just so that when the year ends at least I know I've achieved something. If you've been part of the Singapore education system, you will very much be familiar with the SMART way of goal setting so my goals are very much specific, measurable, achieveable, realistic and timely. (I hope I got the acronyms right, lol). And I've read somewhere that if you tell others about your goals, you are more likely to stick to wanting to achieve them. So here is the list v2:

1. To be able to do 10 chin ups (over hand grip) in one go. (Currently I can do 3, and my PB is 6.)

2. To be able to do a handstand. (I cannot even brave myself to stand on my hands with my feet on a wall!!!)

3. To run a 10km in 40mins. (The last time I did an official 10k race was in 2012 with a timing of 52mins without any training.)

4. To be able to pull a distance of 7510m in 30mins on the rowing machine. (Current personal record was 7503m set in Feb 2014.)

5. To run a half marathon. (The longest official run I did was the Urbanathlon last year of 14km.)

6. To be able to do a 6mins plank. (Did a 6mins last year. Once.)

7. To do 10 pistol squat on each leg unassisted. (Currently can manage 10 but with assistance.)

8. To be able to swim 5 laps along the pool without rest. (Now I will be happy to finish 1 lap without rest.)

9. To be able to sit on the bike for 2 hours without rest. (Most number of minutes I sat in the stationary bike was 90.)

10. To get back into doing Bikram Yoga.

And of course by doing all these, my ultimate goal is to lose my body fat % of which I have no idea what's my current score. (I've set an appointment with the nutritionist on Thursday which I am not looking forward to meeting. Reminds me of the primary school days when we pray hard not to be called to see the dentist because she is an evil witch. But of course my nutritionist isn't anything like that. It's just the vernier calipers that she carries around measuring the fat around your body which makes you feel insecure about yourself for a while. Bah.)

And of course as you already know, there is no such thing as spot reduction. So if you want to lose your body weight or body fat, you gotta work on your whole body and do all the aspects of fitness (I.e. cardio, strength and flexibility) so if you realise (which I just realised as well), my goals are diverse in such a way that they work on the different parts of the body and makes me achieve the 3 aspects too! Yay to an awesome aisyah by year end!

I'm gonna write these goals down and put it on the bedroom wall where I can see it everyday when I wake up. (Also a tip on how to set your goals and how to keep motivated to work towards them.)

It's never too late to review your fitness goals as well. I am motivated to post up my trainings towards these goals so watch this space! ^^

#IWILLWHATIWANT