What a Singaporean girl is made of;

The Asian Games is finally here. I am actually in Korea, waiting for the big day to come. Shit just got real. I don’t know which is worse, the race itself or the days leading up to the race. These are the kinds of days that make you wonder, “Why did I choose this path again? Why did I not listen to the world and lead an ordinary life where job interviews or probably end year work appraisals make you worried the most? WHAT DID I PUT MYSELF INTO?”

It is scary, as much as I try to tell myself that it is not, it is.

It is definitely beyond nerving to be the only athlete in the whole of Asia representing Singapore here. Asia, mind you. Asia.

When I thought being the only rower at last year’s SEA Games was bad enough, at least in Myanmar, I was staying in the Games Village where I was surrounded by fellow Team Singapore mates. I had people to talk to other than my coach, things to do to take my mind off rowing once in a while. Now I am staying in a sub-Games Village, 2.5hrs away from everyone else. There is absolutely nothing in the village except for a small convenient store which is as wide as my wingspan. I do bid the occasional his and byes to the athletes from the other countries, but that’s just about it. It is so far, when I needed to see the physio, she travelled a total of 5hours just to see me for an hour, and she spent 90% of the time looking at my back and hair instead of my face. HAHA. But I gotta remind myself what I’m here for: to show Asia what a Singaporean girl is made of.

What am I made of?

But then again, SO WHAT? So what if I’m alone here? Being alone doesn’t give me a reason to row slower or doesn’t make me any weaker. It doesn’t put me in any disadvantage at all! In fact, it gives me a sense of pride and honour to be the only Singaporean out there on the water everyday. It makes me secretly feel a tad awesome or two (well, not so secret anymore). But yeah, it’s not sad being the only athlete anymore. I’ve gotten over being sad. I’m so used to being alone already having to thrive in Sydney on my own. I think being alone here is a privilege. Yay.

Athlete's Sub-Village at Chungju

And and and, to think about it, I have my family and friends back at home, and in Sydney too, cheering me on (I hope) haha! Things are not so bad after all. ^^

I found out that Mio won’t be telecasting my race, but it’s okay, because they better be when I’m racing in Singapore in June. They better.

Again, I shall remind myself that nothing will rattle me at this point of time.

Life for the past week has literally been eat, sleep, row. It has become such a routine that sometimes I wonder if my heart and brain are functioning because things happen to be on auto-pilot mode. In exactly a week’s time, the daily grind of training, eating very little in order to make weight for my race and sleeping because there is nothing else to do out here will be over. But of course, I shouldn’t be thinking too far ahead. I’m taking in one day at a time, one session after another. I wake up everyday, feeling blessed to be here. Look at how far I’ve come. I was reading through my old blog posts about how the SEA Games cycle has repeated itself for 4 times (i.e. 2005, 2007, 2011 and 2013) and now I have a new addition to the cycle of major events and I AM ACTUALLY HERE RIGHT NOW.

Talking about old blog posts, oh how I love reading about those days when I whine and gripe every single day about how much I dislike work and wish I am a full-time athlete.

I guess it’s really true that dreams do come true :)

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So, I’m racing on Sunday at 1050am Korean Time (which is 950am SG Time).

It’s really interesting how I reckon I’ve raced at least a hundred times in my life yet I still feel nervous as hell for every single race! It definitely doesn’t get easier, but it’s good to know that harder competition means you’ve just unlocked the next level as a rower! If it was easy, everybody will do it!

THIS IS GONNA BE PRETTY EXCITING. WOOHOO.

I think I was born to do this.

xx

Sunset at the race venue