5 days in Singapore

"I think Aisyah was driven not just because she was rowing for herself, but for the future of the sport in Singapore." Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said at the Berita Harian Achiever of the Year 2014 Ceremony at Shangri-La last week.

 

(more of his speech here: http://www.pmo.gov.sg/content/pmosite/mediacentre/speechesninterviews/primeminister/2014/August/prime-minister-lee-hsien-loongs-speech-at-berita-harian-anugerah.html#.U_6H47PlpgA_)

Another story to tell my grandkids. My grandkids will be so grateful I don't have to repeat my stories because there's plenty to share, haha!

I surprised my mum by coming home for a few days last week. She pretended she "knew what was going on", I told her, "Don't bedek." but I'm glad she was happy. What made her even happier was when I was awarded the Anugerah Jauhari in the BH Achiever Awards. This is the second year running they're awarding to youths below 30 (thankfully I'm still eligible lol) and coincidentally, last year, it was awarded to a 19-year-old President's Scholar with the same dad's name as my dad. I mean, how rare it is to find dads with a name Mohamed Rafa'ee and there you go, the two of us, Anugerah Jauhari, yo. 

Had my first ever press conference on the morning of the award ceremony. I was nervous as hell! I didn't know what to wear! Was considering between a UA Batgirl Tee or a plain grey tanktop with a pencil skirt and an Under Armour hoodie. I went with the latter, although both sounds pretty casual, they could have denied my entrance to the press conference if I was anymore laid-back than that! (Also, thankfully I wore UA gear because UA people were asking me why I wasn't wearing UA stuff for it and I showed them this photo LOL)

 

 

Under Armour said, "Okay next time we'll give you attire with the logo on the shoulder or chest."

The main winner, the ustaz from RRG, touched on really heavy and deep stuff which made me feel like I had nothing good to say about saving the world or touching the hearts of the community, which made me feel a little sad. But I felt stupid for being sad because I WAS FRIKKING SITTING AT A PRESS CONFERENCE TABLE THERE IS NOTHING TO BE SAD ABOUT! So I lifted my chin up and smile. I answered the the media's questions to the best of my ability. I think I did pretty well. I deserve a pat on my back.

The excitement didn't end there. The award was presented to me by PM Lee himself and I was so excited to meet him in person, so much so that when I shook his hand, I didn't know what to say and blurted out, "How was your day, Mr Lee?" and that was about the only thing I asked him that night.

Superfailblog.com

Reminded me of the day I met Minister Teo Chee Hean at the Peter Lim Scholarship Ceremony last year and all I said to him was, "You're tall, sir!" and he said, "So are you!"

#OMGWHATISWRONGWITHME

I must have a list of PROPER things to say to Ministers the next time I attend such events. GAAAH.

Anyway, the award night went awesome. I was so, so, so honoured to be receiving the award in front of the most influential people in the Malay/Muslim community in Singapore. And I had to deliver a Thank-You speech, I felt like I just won the Oscars.

The speech.

You can read it here: sph.com.sg/system/assets/1535/Saiyidah%20Aisyah%20Speech.pdf

Took me hours to ponder through it, finding the right things to say, making sure I don't bore the audience with my Thank You list.

 

 

Finally done with the speech on the way to the Award Ceremony!!!

Thankfully, the speech went well. And even more thankfully, people loved it. They came up to me to tell me that the speech was beautiful. Thank you :)

It was amazing when so many important Malay/Muslim community people coming up to me to congratulate me and taking photos with me. It was as though I just won the Gold medal again. It was amazeballs (which in case you didn't know is already in the Oxford Dictionary: Amazeballs- extremely good or impressive).

It is really, really comforting to know that people still care if I am getting the right amount of support for my rowing career. I get asked a lot about this funding issue and to make things clear for everyone, I am currently on No-Pay Leave with Ngee Ann Polytechnic and the Sport Singapore is making up for my "loss of wages" with a grant to support my full-time training. It is not much, but it is sufficient to put a roof over my head and some good food in my tummy. There is support, there can and should be more support for local athletes like me, but I can assure you that there is support, and it is growing. And the thing is, we have to stop depending on the government to grow the local talents that we have here to build a sporting nation. It has to start from each and everyone of us, taking the initiative to show support to the local athletes, whether in terms of monetary or even as simple as showing us your emotional support. Knowing that there are at least 5 million people supporting us from the stands, gives us that additional boost to make the nation proud.

 

Okay,

TIME TO STOP BEING DISTRACTED WITH ALL THE ATTENTION.

That's why I'm back here in Sydney, training my ass off for the last few weeks before I depart for my first ever Asian Games.

Pretty stoked!

It was a good trip back, I reckon. I managed to catch up with some friends whom have just joined me in the "let's put a hold on our jobs and go chase our dreams" (please consult your respective superiors before signing up) and had a good laugh during lunch with my colleagues. And then, I realised how lucky I am to be doing what I'm doing now. I do miss work, and I miss Singapore, sometimes (when it gets too cold here), and I miss my home and my family. But this, this thing I'm doing now, this is just like waking up to a dream come true every single day of my life. Alhamdullilah. Alhamdullilah. Alhamdullilah. I cannot be anymore grateful for this. And I remind myself everyday to be grateful for this. Everyday.

And lastly, thank you Berita Harian for awarding me with the Anugerah Jauhari. It means a lot to me knowing that what I thought initially was just a selfish reason to chase my dreams and to prove people wrong became a story to motivate our youths to fight for their dreams.

Like I said in my speech, "stay strong, because you'll never know who you might inspire."

xx

 

It's one of those days

 

Everyday I wake up takes me one day closer to the Asian Games.

 

The other day, when it was raining buckets in the morning, I didn't just wake up and got ready for training, but I woke up at 4:45am, not giving a thought about snoozing or going back to bed, cold as hell, shivering to my bones from the 7 degrees weather (which weatherman said it feels like 1 degree, which I cannot agree more) and I actually had the mental capacity to even think about something I posted on Facebook the night before- AT 4:45AM YES. And it got me to not only get out of bed but I literally sprung out of bed.

 

"I do question why I am doing it, quite frequently. Partly, it is just seeing how good I can get. And also an intrinsic desire not to let the pain beat me. With this sport you have a long-term goal: Four years to the Olympics. If you commit, to give up halfway would be failure, admitting you are not good enough, that you have been beaten," says 2 times Gold medallist in the Olympics, Andrew Triggs Hodge from Team GB.

 

I was ready to conquer the cold, the rain, the water and the world.

 

And then I realised, everyday I wake up, it not only takes me closer to the Asian Games, but also the SEA Games next year, and eventually the Olympics.

 

It seems like a long way to go, but hell no, we know 2 years is not long.

 

Two years.

 

--

 

And then there were the days when it was almost perfect conditions to row, like today. 8 degrees (a bit chilly but it was okay). Very little wind. By the time we got our boats on water, the sun was already out, keeping us warm, making it "just right". It couldn't have been any better than this.

 

And then, when you start doing the pieces, your brain started to wander away. You thought about how hot and humid it will be like back in Singapore. You thought about how strong your competitors are and you start to get worried when the race is 6 weeks away. Your mind flicked back to the piece you were doing. Your boat is not moving as fast as it should be. Your legs are burning and it is only 2 minutes into the piece and you have 27mins more to go. Your back feels tired. You were suddenly thinking about how to breathe properly. Your lungs hurt from trying to gasp for air more than you needed to. You were so slow during the piece if you were the coach, you'd throw an oar at your rower. I'm quite surprised my coach didn't actually do that.

 

I was so awful today, I actually cried because I sucked.

 

And then, I stopped crying and started thinking. I told myself that crying wasn't gonna help. My unglamorous face with tears streaming down wasn't gonna make the boat move any faster. My coach is not gonna take pity on me (hell no) and no way is he gonna send me back (and even if he did send me back, I have to row the course back). And I got reminded of what my teammate, Rowena, said: Survival of the Strongest.

 

Only the strongest will survive this game, Aisyah.

 

And then my brain switched on and on the second piece back home, I went strong and fast. My legs were tired, my lungs did hurt, but being tired from pulling hard is heaps better than being tired from being slow and weak.

 

My coach reminded me that we are short of time right now and every single training session matters and I have to give it my all for every session. Of course, it is easier said than done. And as we all know, we can't have good days everyday. But he is right (isn't he always right? That's why he's a coach). Every. Single. Training. Matters.

 

After training today, Rowena asked me, "What happened? Are you okay?"

 

I said, "It's just one of those days you feel like crap."

 

But this is my job and like your job, there are days when things just don't go right. Like your job, I have to give 100% to each session, but sometimes at 6am, your brain doesn't seem to co-operate you have to slap yourself hard to wake it up. Like your job, I have targets and goals too, and mine are reviewed every single day, with my coach right next to me. It feels like having your boss sitting right next to you at work everyday. Very comforting, I know. But it makes you be on the balls of your feet all the time. It can be tiring, but you know it's good for you.

 

My job doesn't pay me in cash or cheque like yours, but it gives me the satisfaction of knowing that I'm one step closer towards making my dreams become reality. I may whine about almost everything  but there is never a day that goes by without me being so grateful I chose this path. Sometimes, shit happens and I wonder why I'm doing this, like today. Sometimes, life can be sad and miserable and awful and it makes me want to give up on my dreams and go home. But like PMS-filled days, they will pass. Like today, today will pass and it will be better tomorrow.

 

--

 

And to end it in a lighter note, I have shifted out of James and Annie's to rent a room near Manly beach (which is so awesome because I love Manly) and am staying with a single mum with 2 amazing daughters. It was pretty exciting looking for a home, I must say. I went for several house inspections which was scary at first because you have to step out of your comfort zone knocking on doors of strangers and walking around their houses- I have a Pros and Cons list for the houses I visited, how cool is that! Some houses were really close to the beach like I could do a standing board jump and I'm on the sand, but my friends advised me about the people I'm staying with which actually matters the most, although you are more likely to think about how nice the house is and its proximity to the beach or the training centre or the city. And another thing that I had to consider was whether I want to come home to a family, or to a single guy/girl who would mind his/her own business and I chose the former. Also, since I'm driving Lizzi's car at the moment, I got myself a parking permit. At the rate I'm going, maybe I should just live here permanently and find an Aussie husband, no? HAHA!

 

Talking about husbands and what nots. My girlfriend just got married and I totally missed her beautiful wedding. And with that being said, I also missed the dinner with some ministers and the President, on top of not being at home for Eid.

 

And a wise guy said to me, "What is more important? Chasing your dreams or making theses people happy?"

 

And still on this topic of husbands (are we still on it?), the radio DJ said, "sometimes we're single at the wrong time." And it made me sad a little, because what she said was followed by Sigma's:

 

I know you're tired of loving, of loving
With nobody to love, nobody, nobody

 

And then I felt stupid for feeling sad because life is awesome the way it is now. So shut up, Sigma.

 

xx