Don't be good, be better.

Read an article that my psychologists sent me and one of the things I took away was that:

DON'T BE GOOD, GET BETTER.

Life is about constantly upgrading yourself to be the best version that you can possibly be.

Which reminds me of one of the trainings I had on water and I was telling my coach that I feel like I'm pushing too hard and he was like,

"there's no such thing as pushing too hard."

If you think you're pushing hard, your opponents are pushing harder.

You better damn well push harder.

Sounds easy peasy lemon squeezy. Just push hard, he says.

The weather in Sydney is slowly becoming colder and colder each day. Autumn is such a lovely season- not for rowers though, especially not for a rower who comes from one of the hottest and most humid countries in Asia. Morning rows can be quite excruciating, having to bear with the cold winds, even with at least 6 pieces of clothings on me. The air is so dry, any day without a layer of lip balm I'll end up having to live through the day tasting blood from my cracked lips. The sun is starting to rise later by the day, sometimes when we launch our boats, it is pitch dark. When you set out in the open water and look up at the sky to see the moon and stars still there and you got reminded of how seeing the night sky used to mean that it is time to sleep, you ask yourself, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

The beach is no more a favourite hangout place. In the day, I'm usually trapped under the blankets where it's nice and warm. Sometimes I feel like a vampire. At the rate I'm going and with so minimal sun exposure, I might end up being fair and actually look like a vampire. (Plus, with the blood on my lips!)

My friends in SG were complaining about the heat and humidity and wishing they were in Sydney.

Oh life. The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it?

Training has been going pretty well, Alhamdullilah. Trainings are hard, they are supposed to be hard. I've been thinking about my life as a professional athlete all these years. It has been 2 years since I decided to take on this path and not once have I regretted my choice. My bank account might disagree with me but hey, when I'm done with my rowing, I'll be feeding my bank account again, InsyaAllah. Right now, thinking about money just frustrates me and spending all your energy being so pissed about something that I pretty much can't do anything about will only leave me with lesser energy to focus on the more important things in life- Like going really fast in the boat. Sometimes, it is easy for me to say, Ahh, don't have to worry about money because money won't make my boat faster but when I have to pay for rent in Sydney, I feel the pinch. Babe, it hurts. Sometimes, you try to not make a big deal about how much it hurts but sometimes when you let down your guard, that's when all the reality starts to seep in and you're like Oh Fuck, I'm broke.

STOP TALKING ABOUT MONEY.

I'm 27, all my savings dried on surviving in Sydney. That's my sob story. Okay, done wincing.

Yea, I actually turned 27 like about 3 weeks ago. I celebrated my birthday with an erg in the morning because it was too windy to row. And then an hour cycle and ended my day with lifting weights in the gym. You might think I had the worst birthday in my life but in fact, being able to do all that, I am grateful. I am grateful for being 27 and fkg fit and strong. I am so thankful to be able to train again without pain. And most importantly, I am still and always will be ever so grateful to be able to live a life as a professional athlete. That, I believe, was the best birthday present I gave myself.

 

Another present that I gave myself was a hair makeover. Not really a fancy makeover shit kind of thing but I cut my fringe and shaved 10 years off my face. lol. There right there, is humility as its best.

 

Social media is an evil thing. Showing me the buzz that is happening around in Singapore, the nation celebrating the arrival of the SEA Games which is just around the corner (3 weeks of around the corner to be exact), seeing photos of people training with their teammates and posting quotes like, "these are the people who get me through hard trainings" and suddenly you feel like the shittiest and lonliest person in the world and all you want to do is cry into your pillow. Yes, it does hurt. And common sense would tell you to GET OFF THAT FACEBOOK and start living your life you have here in Sydney but sometimes stupidity kicks in and shit like that happens.

Yes, Sydney is gorgeous. I am living the life of a paid professional athlete in such a beautiful country. My Instagram shows you how happy I am to be here. My Facebook says I'm doing great. I am, I am. I'm happy. And when I'm happy, my boat goes fast, and that makes me happy, and it goes in full circle. On my off days, I get to travel around New South Wales. I am fortunate to be able to run along the most beautiful coastlines in Australia. I GET TO BE A MUSHROOM HUNTER FOR A DAY, which was so exciting and it inspired me to want to share my experience and I decided to become a writer on Weekendnotes and they don't pay a lot (1 cent per reader and I'm not kidding you) but hey, you gotta start somewhere, no?

 

 

Read about my mushroom foraging experience here (and yes, you clicking on the link helps increase the reader stat to my article and you hitting the like button if you enjoyed reading my article helps as well!): http://www.weekendnotes.com/mushroom-foraging-oberon/

And did you know that I drove 3hrs from Sydney to run a 10km race on my rest day which I didn't train for at all and ended up in 3rd position with a personal best timing of 44mins 11s and I won $40, a medal, and a bag? It was so random I had to put it here! And here's a random selfie with my prize money for you!

The $40 I won and my new fringe

You see, social media is evil! It shows you only the good bits in my life! The days when my hair looks perfect. The smile that tells you that everything is going great. The adventures I get myself in!

But well, what Instagram doesn't tell you is the 430am alarm clocks that I set every single morning which you might think I'm pretty much should be "used to" but after 10 years of waking up before the world does, it takes more than getting "used to". It is more like, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING NOW and just fkg dress up and show up. Yes, even after 10 years, sometimes (honestly, most of the time) waking up that early is painful but I think that's what separate athletes from other human beings- the ability to tell your mind to shut the hell up and go do what you're supposed to do.

Other things social media doesn't tell you are the days when things don't go right and sitting on the boat feels like I've never rowed before in my life and having to accept such days and move on. The mornings I sit on the kitchen table eating breakfast alone. The times where I bawl my eyes out for no apparent reason (or maybe because I'm a girl and PMS does shit to my hormones like that). The afternoon sessions in the gym knowing that my teammates back at home are training together, pushing each other on and I only have my playlist to motivate me. "THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME OF WHAT I REALLY AM," Nickelback shouts to me through the speakers. Yea, Instagram doesn't tell you the full story. The other side of life as an athlete- the one that will make me indestructible.

Sometimes I wish I am back home, training with my teammates, attending all these events that Singapore Sports have lined up for us for the upcoming SEA Games, being there with my family for Mother's Day, celebrating my sister's 18th birthday, waking up to hear my mum nag, bitching about coaches after trainings, having a social life, ALL THOSE COOL STUFF YOU THINK ATHLETES DO.

But most of the time, I feel stupid for wishing I'm back at home because not everyone gets to do what I'm doing right now. THIS SHIT IS HARD. So stop thinking that all I do here is train and enjoy because life is not that kind and simple.

Actually, you can think whatever you like. As long as I know that your thoughts won't affect my boat speed in any way, I am fine with it.

When I was back in Singapore, I was like, "Oh these people must be so disappointed in me," and then he told me, "Since when do you care what people say?"

Hit me in the face like a Ronda Rousey punch.

Oh, you're good, Nadzrie. You know me too well.

RANTING STOPS HERE.

3 weeks to one of the biggest games in my life. Racing this weekend in the NSW Masters (my first year as a Master- DONT YOU DARE LAUGH) and another race at the end of the month and then the SEA Games. May these last few trainings be the best I've ever had so that I can be the best version of myself for the Games. InsyaAllah.

xx

The Process of Standing Up for the Umpteenth Time

This is unbelievable. We're actually already stepping into the 2nd quarter of the year. WHAT HAPPENED TO MARCH? Time flies by so crazy fast you just need to step up your game plan otherwise you'll be left behind.

Ugh, talking about stepping it up and getting left behind.

I FEEL IT SO DEEP RIGHT NOW.

Ugh.

So as you might have already know, I went back to Singapore to race in the Asia Cup which was held at Marina Bay early in March. And didn't do as well as I have expected. In fact, it was horrible.

Here's some articles that might lighten up my competitors' days:

http://www.todayonline.com/sports/rower-saiyidah-reaches-1000m-lightweight-sculls-final

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/sport/rowing-i-have-to-trust/1715276.html

EXPECTATIONS. This big disgusting word being thrown around by people who don't even know sport, telling me OH AISYAH YOU'RE OUR CHAMP, GO WIN THIS. AISYAH, IT'S OKAY, YOU'LL DO WELL DURING SEA GAMES. OH AISYAH. WHAT HAPPENED?

EXPECTATIONS. Something you wish people didn't had of you so you can be the underdog- again. But 2013 happened. I won, and I don't blame these people who expect me to perform at every race I do because that's what champions do right? Win?

That's the part champions don't tell the world. The hardest part about winning- is to continue being a champion for the next few years or so. Being a champion is more than just that very day you won your race. It becomes a lifestyle, an attitude. People see you differently, people know you. People expect you to do well all the time.

But the biggest mistake I did when I went back to SG for the race was to listen to what these people say. Why should I listen to them? Were they there at every training I did since I was 14? Were they there to tape my blisters up when they bleed? Were they around when I felt so alone in Sydney I cried myself to sleep every night for a few weeks? Were they there to put money in my pocket when I my savings went fkg dry?

--

Losing was painful. I remembered crying so hard after one of the races I ran to a corner of Tanjung Rhu and bawled. I swear I seriously BAWLED, not giving a two cent fk if there were people there I just cried my eyes and lungs out. Losing in Singapore was heaps harder than losing at the Asian Games in Korea although the stakes were higher then. Because I lost in front of my family and friends, in front of my teammates and those who believe in me. I felt like I've disappointed them by multiple folds. Because I lost on my home ground. Losing drained every ounce of self-confidence I had in me. When I went back to Sydney, I felt empty like a shell on the beach that has been abandoned by a hermit crab because the crab has moved on to greater things in life. Even a crab doesn't want me anymore- that was how pathetic I felt. I used to have this Aisyah inside my head who will not accept no for an answer, and who will fight for what she believes in. The dreamer, the believer. The fast and strong Aisyah that the world knows. I feel that I've lost the Aisyah in me.

When I came back to Sydney, I participated in the Nationals. I thought this might be a good time for me to redeem myself. To find that Aisyah again.

I didn't race well. I know my potential but my performance at the Nationals were way below my best. But the good thing was, I am slowly starting to find that Aisyah I lost. I came in 6th out of 13 competitors, which is not great but considering that I had a hard fall in Singapore, being 6th in Australia was okay. "okay" is not good. but "okay" means things are going up, up and away. So, I'm happy to settle with "okay", for now. This will be slow and painstaking process, but I am determined that I will find her again.

I am trying to be patient but I know that time is not on my side. It is 11 weeks to the Games and I know I can't hang around hoping for good things to come my way. I have to take an extra leap, a bigger stride to get things going. To look for Aisyah, to become who I was meant to be- again.

The past few weeks have been hard- I swear it is by far the hardest thing I had to face as a professional athlete. It is even tougher than going through an injury or being rejected by a sports institute in giving you a scholarship. It feels like being 13 again facing an identity crisis and having to find "my true self". Good thing is, you're not having bad acne breakouts and YOU KNOW YOUR TRUE SELF IS THERE. It is just waiting to be discovered.

I am positive about how things are going right now. Alhmadullilah God is giving me this chance to prove myself again. Grabbing this chance, holding on tight and making the best out of it. Thank you, God, for loving me this much and giving me all these challenges in life because these are the things that are going to make me even stronger than ever. Thank you.

Had my first training with the girls today after the Nationals and it started off pretty well and then I suddenly lost momentum and found it hard to row. After possibly like 1358302hrs of my life rowing, I felt like I forgot how to row. I went so slow I cried and almost wanted to stop rowing and head back to the shed. But I remembered what this Aussie rower said during one of the talks I attended during the Nationals, "No matter how hard things are, you just don't quit. Never let quitting be an option."

After slapping myself (and being so mad at myself for being so fkg slow), I rowed hard on the way back to the shed. It was a lot of effort to go fast again, but at least right there and then, I knew how much effort I have to put in for every training. I am so glad I didn't quit.

Life's gonna bring me down again and again but each time I fall, I'm gonna get back up.

Hey, look who's back! :)

xx

Racing is in my blood.

I thought I'd drop a quick note to tell the world that I'm doing fine. The homesickness is slowly fading away as things are starting to get pretty serious down here with all the races that are lined up weekend after weekend. Yesterday was the start of my season. 

I've settled in a cosy home with a 60 year old lady as a flatmate and we share absolutely nothing in common except for the love of being alone and sleeping early. Wanted to buy a used car for $800 but when I went to inspect it at someone's backyard, I found the car pretty shady. The interior roof lining was falling apart, the car smells of smoke and there were a few pieces of McDonald's fries under the seat which still looked pretty golden but I think they've been there for months, if not years. I mean, what do you expect from an $800 car right? I didnt get it. I wouldn't know where to rake up an extra $800 anyway.

Funds are running pretty low, but what's new right? I try not to let it worry me too much but when I push these worries aside, they come and haunt me when I'm not doing much, which is like most of the time. I am still paying rent, meals and transport from my own savings which makes all these fancy pantsy let's shower our local athletes with support you hear seem like a fairy tale story. I wish I can just think about training but I guess if things don't push you, you won't grow. You start to depend on others. You start to become weak and needy. I guess it's an opportunity for me to grow. I want to learn, I'm hungry to gain more knowledge on how to earn without distracting me from my training. Nothing good ever comes easy, they say. The hard is what's gonna make this all worth it- I always, always, always remind myself.

The last time I raced was in Korea 4 months ago at the Asian Games. That wasn't even racing. That was me trying to be someone I wasn't. That wasn't the Aisyah Rower I know, neither was she the girl with big dreams you know. That was someone I've decided to leave behind in 2014. But moving forward to the race yesterday,  it's really interesting how you know you've done this at least a hundred thousand times, for 10 freaking years, and yet, the jitters that you get for every single race just scares you! In this game, experience doesn't make it any better. As you go up a level, it doesn't get any easier. But still, you do it. Can someone explain to me why?

At the start line, my heart was pounding so hard and so fast I could actually feel the beat pulsating through my fingers which were wrapped around my oar handles. I was nervous, for sure, but it was a damn good feeling. It was a feeling I hadn't felt for a very long time. It was love.

The love for the adrenaline that gushes in my blood when I get nervous and excited at the same time and it makes me feel so stoked. The love for the way my heart pounds at the start line. The love for the pain in my legs when the lactic starts to seep in them. The love for the way my lungs scream for air when I start to pant hard. The love for the way I make the boat glide on water. The love for the silly things I tell myself when I feel like I'm going to die anytime soon. The love for pushing myself and going beyond what I thought I can. The love for crossing the finish line knowing that I'm totally spent and there's nothing more that I could have given. The love for racing. The love for the sport.

It almost brought me to tears when I finished the race yesterday. I didn't win, neither was I last. But yesterday wasn't about the position I came in. What made the hugest impact on me was the fact that I fell in love again. It made me realise that this is what I was made for, this was what I was born to do. 

It is probably the cheesiest thing you've ever heard but for months, I was trying to find out what makes a good athlete better, and the better ones become the best. I felt that there was something missing in my life. And then yesterday happened and I felt alive, for the first time in many, many months. It was a beautiful moment. There wasn't a medal hanging around my neck, neither was was an applause or even a pat on my back for a good race. But right there, I felt happy. 

Alhamdullilah.

To many more races to come, and to be conquered.

xx

The Jindabyne Camp

So I'm gonna skip the part where I came back to Sydney to train.

And talk about the part where I decided to participate in a training camp, which is one of the most painful events I've ever gone through in my entire life.

So this is what it's like to be an elite athlete in one of new south Wales's best rowing club. Mind you, it is not even the national team. 

This is what it's like to have a proper, serious shit training camp. 

This is what it feels like to die.

Every single fkg day.

And I'm sorry if you shudder and gasp in horror when I say the 4 letter word but you'll understand why I will be using the word ever so often in this post.

Jindabyne is 5 hours away from Sydney by land. I met james with his 1989 volkswagon van at mosman on Saturday morning bright and early at 530am. His radio and bluetooth in the van wasn't working and there wasnt any air condition and it was in the middle of summer in sydney so the 5 hours ride felt like 10. But after sleeping through like 3/4 of the journey, we finally reached Jindy. 

At this point I cringe at how cute Jindy sounds because there is nothing cute about Jindabyne.

Better known as Snowy Mountain, during winter, Jindabyne turns into a skiing wonderland. In summer, it is where Mother Nature shows its true colours as a female- undecisive. Mother hot one moment, pissing rain the next. And im not even talking about a period of days here. In a matter of hours the weather here can change drastically.

This place is lovely. Jindabyne is beautiful. The lake is enormous and it goes on forever. Once, we rowed on and on for at least 13km without having to turn. The roads where we ride on go on forever too. (More on cycling in a bit.)

The day starts at 4:55am every morning, which doesn't seem that bad if you're a rower. And then you put on your trainers and run down the hill to the lake. And you might think it's a straightforward downhill route but in jindabyne nothing is ever a simple downhill or uphill. 

At the lake, we row and God bless us if the wind is a breeze. The water can get so nasty, once I went out on a single scull in horrible water and almost cried cuz it was so scary to row back in the rolling waves. After training, we run back up the hill back to our accommodation. On good days, the run back will take 20mins or so for a 2.5km distance. On days where your legs feel like there's fkg weights in them, it may take up to half an hour. But you have to just deal with it because no way will any coach pity your pretty face and give you a ride home.

And then we have our favourite meal of the day, breakfast. Usually we sleep after breakfast for about an hour to recharge for our second session which starts at around 11am. This time round we don't have to run to the lake so we'll get to drive down, thankfully.

Sometimes we run up a hill. Hills in jindabyne have no mercy on us human beings. They are so steep your eyes weep just by looking at them. Running up the hill is so painful you can try all sorts of things to get your mind off the pain but your fkg lungs and legs are on fire you can't ignore them. They just hurt so much and walking doesn't make anything better so you can't do much, really, but just to fkg run.

Sometimes we gym. Which sounds okay since I've been gymming for quite some time now but I've not done circuits for years and circuits just make your heart pump so hard you feel like it may just protrude out of your chest anytime. 

And then there's the training I dread the most. Cycling. I try to convince myself that if I learn to like it, it won't be that bad. But I just can't seem to enjoy riding. It's painful on your shoulders, your bum, your groin, your legs. It's just too much pain and discomfort. And like I mentioned before, Jindabyne hills are complex, like a women's brain. Uphills are painful, as expected, but what I hate the most is the downhill part. I AM SO FKG SCARED OF GOING DOWN A SLOPE, GOD SAVE ME. And cycling trainings go on for hours. The first ride we had was 45mins. The second was 70mins and the third ride was 3hrs. Yesterday, we rode for 3.5hrs, 67km and climbed the steepest hill I've ever encountered in my life. It was so steep my cadence was probably 10rpm and it is not an exaggeration. The 2 girls I was riding with didn't even make it to the top of the hill. One fell off the bike. It was excruciating I cannot imagine going through that again. Thinking about it still makes me cringe in fear. It was probably about 3 km but it felt like the longest road ever. I hated it. Hated it. SO MUCH HATE IN CYCLING!!!!

and then the coaches said that if I get over the fear of going downhill I actually make a good cyclist. Things you don't want to hear. Haha.

It's been 8 days now. 2 days to go. As much as this camp is slowly breaking my body, mentally fkg my mind,  I am sure by the end of this misery I will be stronger, fitter and faster than I've ever been before. That, I like. But for now, it's 3 more trainings to go.

My friends were like, I miss home. I miss sydney. And then I feel stupid for being sad because even when I get my ass back in sydney, home is still miles away.

They say you have to die first, before you feel reborn.

This is how death feels like, I reckon.

xx

Here, now.

So I've ended the year achieving 6 out of 10 of my goals. 
1. I ran a half marathon
2. I sat on a bike for 2hrs
3. I beat my PB on the erg for 30mins
4. I did bikram
5. I did 10 pistol squats on each leg at one go
6. I did more than a 6mins plank

The 4 goals that I didn't manage to achieve were:
7. 10 chin ups
8. Handstand
9. Swimming 250m non-stop
10. Running 10k in 40mins

The chin ups, handstand and the swim were excusable because of the wrist thing I had. But the 10k was just something I chickened out and didn't even try.

6 goals achieved would do for now.
#betterthannothing

--

I'm back in Sydney. Things are moving so quickly i haven't had the chance to even sit down and reflect on my 2014 and jotting goals down for my 2015.

Will be leaving for the mountains (5 hrs from sydney) tomorrow at 530am. Intense training for 10 days. Crazy bike rides. Freezing mornings to hellish afternoons. 3 trainings almost everyday. Sounds pretty wicked, but I'm ready. 

I feel a little empty inside. I miss home. It's a stupid thing to say but I am not going to lie to you, or myself. I do miss home. And its hardly been a week since I'm here. I'm not the adventurous little girl who gets excited to be alone in a foreign country anymore. I feel old, tired, lonely. And stupid.

Stupid feelings will go away soon. 

It better go away soon.

I need to be here. To be fast. To win. 

Meanwhile, have I told you about how I picked up cycling a month ago, bought my very own pedals and shies with cleats along with lights and saddles and a gps? Have I told you that I just learnt how to cleat on my shoes to the bike last week and 2 days ago I cycled up and down one of the most challenging routes in sydney? Have I told you how I hate cycling because it scares the coconuts out of me but I just have to shut up and deal with it like how I hated rowing when I first got into the single sculls cuz I thought I sucked at it? Well yeah. And I heard we're gonna cycle up the highest peak in Australia during the camp. How exciting.

Good luck legs. 

Will be back in 10 days. 
Fitter. Stronger. Faster.
(And with a reflection and a resolution ready by then)
You'll see.

Not everything in life is a competition.

Upon the news of the ex-bf of yesteryear getting married to an ex-best friend of mine, I received a text from a good friend I haven't seen in ages saying, "dude, we're really the last."

I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

--

Weekends in Singapore are made up of pretty much, weddings. Spending a full hour looking through the closet of Hari Raya outfit that I only wear during, well, Hari Raya, and another hour ironing it and yet another hour trying to look pretty for God knows what reason.

Here are some photos I have to put here because you dress up so nicely and doll up it seems like a waste of time if you don't put your photo up somewhere. Lol.


cuz taking a selfie/wefie is mandatory during weddings

I'm not asking you to please not invite me to your weddings too. In fact, I love weddings. I love to see my friends and cousins tying the knot, even if my mum manage to drag me out of the house to attend a wedding of a friend's daughter's brother in law's second cousin, I'd be there for them if they need me to and if my time allows me to (and may they forgive me if I am not there because trainings and competitions take precedence and I hope they understand that). 

(I also love weddings cuz it gives me a chance to prove to my mum that I'll wear that $300 tailor-made more than once.)

I love attending weddings because it is a celebration of love (and courage, as how some may put it) and it is a happy occasion and watching happy faces make you happy and who doesn't want to be happy? Attending weddings also put ideas in your head of how you want your wedding to be. Of course I do have an idea of how my wedding is gonna be like- as tough as I think I am, I'm still a Princess, and I must have the perfect wedding with a perfect wedding dress and everyone has to dress up like elves. (I pretty much have everything planned, but not the groom). Lol.

But the weekly weddings that I attend, to me, serve as a weekly reminder that I'm getting a week older and the question that is always ringing in my head, "should I be worried that im not married?"

Or more like, "should I be worried that im not worried that im not married?"

Weekend after weekend my list of single friends gets smaller and smaller. But it doesn't bother me (or does it?). I'm more worried about whether I'll be able to reach my target for the half marathon next month, whether I will be able to make weight for the next competition. It worries the hell out of me if my wrist doesn't get any better and the coach says no I can't row for xx more days and I'll be a miserable person for xx days. I can't even live my life to the fullest with each day that passes by without being able to row. But today's not about rowing (and I really should stop whining about it, grar.)

There is no time or space in my head to think about marriage. God, no.

I'm fortunate to have a mum who isn't pressuring me to get married. In fact, when I told her that my ex is getting married, she said, "It's okay." It was an awfully awkward "It's okay" but the conversation ended there, thankfully. But im so glad she isn't that type who wants to give me away as soon as she can. Phew.

I am also so, so grateful that my relatives have stopped asking me when is it my turn to sit on the wedding dais and instead question me on when's my next competition. Do you know how pleased I am to know that the majority of the people I know have learnt to accept that my dreams mean more than anything else in the world? 

But you know what worries me more than being nowhere near getting married?

Knowing that my friends (of the yaya sisterhood of singlehood) find solace in me when they discover that their FB time line is flooded with wedding photos, or even scarier, photos of our friends with big bumps on their tummies. It's like, hey, Aisyah's chasing to put a medal around her neck instead of a ring around her finger. She's pregnant with hopes and dreams and not a baby. She's saving up for the Olympic dreams and not her wedding or children's education. SO IT'S LIKE IT'S OKAY IF WE'RE NOT MARRIED, NOT PREGNANT OR NOT HAVING KIDS CUZ AISYAH ISN'T ANYWAY!

It's like I'm the yardstick.
The role model for all those women out there who are just not ready for the big m word yet.

I have absolutely nothing against marriage. I just think that you should get married for the right reasons and only when you're ready. Dont get married because your peers are married, because your parents tell you to get married, and certainly because you love the thought of looking pretty on the dais on your wedding day. And there is absolutely nothing to fear or be embarrassed about if you're the last to get hitched. A wise friend once said, marriage is not a race. The one who gets married first doesn't make him a winner in any way. WORD.

But then again, who am I to talk about marriages? 

Let's talk about ending 2015 on a good note. If 2014 hasn't been a great year for you (I feel you, bro), I'm on a mission to make the best of what's left in 2014 and so should you. I've been running distances I never have imagined myself to cover- all in the name of a half-marathon I gladly signed up for. I've been sitting on the bike almost every other day to make up for the times I'm losing out of the boat and I'm even buying my own road bike (considering the fact that I have a phobia of cycling on the road). If I can't make one thing happen, I'm pretty sure there are other things I can make happen.

I do feel like a little part of me dies everyday I'm not allowed to row but it has reached the point where I just have to stop being sad and start being awesome. There's absolutely no time for us to continue to mope around about something we can't change. Gotta start living, man.

199 days to SEA GAMES 2015.

xx

The OMG-ITS-7-MORE-WEEKS-TO-END-YEAR Goal Review

The problem that we face when we set goals is usually not reviewing them. So let's be a bit more responsible for ourselves and look at how far we've come now that it's already been a month since we set our goals. The mistake that I did when I was setting these goals in October was that, I didn't had a plan on how to go about achieving them. I thought, we could just, you know, #gojer, and do them when we feel like it but some things are not easy as just #gojerdontscared

1. To be able to do 10 chin ups (over hand grip) in one go. (Currently I can do 3, and my PB is 6.)

CURRENTLY I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANY CHIN-UPS. So boo you, pain on the wrist. BOO YOU!

But if your goal is still to attempt a chin-up or to increase the max that you can do, here's one way to train for it:

Perform 100 chin ups in a day.

If you cannot even do one yet: jump and use the momentum to do a chin up and on your way down, extend your arms slowly. Land softly on the ground (so you don't end up hurting you knees!) and repeat the jump and pull!

If you are already able to do a few at one go: Perform the most you can do, rest. Go for your max again. Rest. Set yourself a time limit. Let's say, start with 100 chin ups a day so that you can divide it into probably 50 in the morning and 50 in the evening. And as you get better, push yourself a bit more to 100 in an hour. In the event that you cannot do anymore because your arms are filled with lactic you think it might fall apart anytime soon, do an assisted chin-up. Get a friend to carry your feet, or use the assisted chin-up machine in the gym.

Don't forget to stretch and be prepared for ridiculously sore arms and lats.

2. To be able to do a handstand. (I cannot even brave myself to stand on my hands with my feet on a wall!!!)

AGAIN. BOO YOU, WRIST!!!! :'(

But I know when my wrist is okay, I have friends who will be teaching me how to do a handstand YAY! ^^

3. To run a 10km in 40mins. (The last time I did an official 10k race was in 2012 with a timing of 52mins without any training.)

To achieve this target, I've been doing 400m and 800m pieces at my target speed which is 4mins/km (target speed) and boy, did I feel like I was sprinting through the pieces! #howliddat?

4. To be able to pull a distance of 7510m in 30mins on the rowing machine. (Current personal record was 7503m set in Feb 2014.)

Current personal record 7518m WOOTS ^^

5. To run a half marathon. (The longest official run I did was the Urbanathlon last year of 14km.)

SIGNED UP FOR STANDARD CHARTERED ON 7 DEC WOOHOO! 1:30hr pacer needed!

Found some training programmes online and it goes something like this:

Monday 4km

Tuesday Fartleks/Hill Sprints/400m/800m

Wed 5km

Thurs 10km

Fri 7kn

Sat 4km

Sun 15km

Roughly 50km-60km a week depending how lazy I am.

Before I signed up for this half-marathon, my runs are an hour long but I can tell you for sure that running for more than an hour can be mentally draining (not sure if this is what the runners call "hitting the wall"- but don't laugh if I think it is because I'm not a runner okay) and I have absolutely no idea how these regular marathoners run so much.

(They must be wondering how we clock 100km of rowing every week too I guess. GAAAAH DONT TALK ROWING TO ME!!!)

6. To be able to do a 6mins plank. (Did a 6mins last year. Once.)

Did an 8mins plank.

SEALED THE DEAL, BABY!

Tip to achieve this: do it with a group of competitive people under the watch of someone who will spot every hump when you lift your butt too high or every dip that forms when you are not pushing your upper back towards the ceiling.

7. To do 10 pistol squat on each leg unassisted. (Currently can manage 10 but with assistance.)

IN PROGRESS.

Haven't really been doing any pistol squats lately. BOO YOU, AISYAH! I'll start today.

8. To be able to swim 5 laps along the pool without rest. (Now I will be happy to finish 1 lap without rest.)

AM NOT ABLE TO SWIM WITH THE WRIST but hopefully splint comes off next week!

9. To be able to sit on the bike for 2 hours without rest. (Most number of minutes I sat in the stationary bike was 90.)

Not brave enough to do this yet. But I am purchasing a road bike soon, hopefully that will help me achieve this goal.

Tip to achieve this: this one, really, a perfect case of don't think just do.

10. To get back into doing Bikram Yoga.

After the splint goes off, I AM READY FOR YOU 40 DEGREES ROOM AND 26 POSES!

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2 out of 10 goals achieved in a month.

4 goals put on hold because of the wrist.

4 goals in progress.

I'd say, things are looking pretty good at this point, although time is running short and this wrist thing is killing me. I guess that it's only right for me to look at the things I can do instead and work on them.

(I told you I have this insane ability to make the bad things seem pretty good in some way.)

Ciao

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